Hand stands are tough, thus is life.

I love this one post on Facebook and here this why.  First, a great photograph of a young beautiful woman with the following message.  (Not this picture, lol.  This picture is just little ol’ me.

She starts by describing an event, trip to Starbucks, her usge.  The barista said something right before she left and it’s already been years since, but it stuck.  The barista said something like, “your life must be golden.”  Here the thing, the woman in the post goes on to say.  Here is the thing.  The young girl who worked at Starbucks wasn’t being rude, or sarcastic, but totally genuine.  They always strike up a quick conversation, with a line of customers behind, and the girl in the photograph is always dressed well on her way to work, or a nice vacation, or somewhere else, that from the eyes of the young barista, was nothing short of amazing!

The woman in the picture wanted to say, no, my life isn’t golden.

I’m suffering from my miscarriage, and post-partem, and our family has never been so far away from God.  She listed other things that she could have said.  And we all know that everyone’s lives are not the way they appear.

Of course, saying as much to the young barista would be shocking, a bit harsh and cruel, the woman says.  But it did leave the woman thinking, and wondering about all of our sense of authenticity, our collective vulnerability… our “Polished” identity.  Then she mentions that she felt like a total fraud because she is not any of these things that the girl sees from the other side of the coffee bar.

If the woman had shown up one morning wearing her most ragged and scarred self, it would be a very different girl staring back at her!

And then these things…

“Because I was bullied a lot as a teenager.”

“I’m afraid of thunderstorms.”

“I spend an absurd amount of time worrying about what other people think of me.”

“My biggest challenge in life is letting go of people.  Even if they hurt me.”

“I hide behind my humor for fear that people won’t accept me without it.”

“I feel like I have failed as a daughter.”

“I try to avoid big groups so that I won’t feel like the invisible one among it.”

“I’m insanely self-conscious of my smile.”

“I feel like I’m an easy person to walk away from in life… and it haunts me on a daily basis.”

“I almost always operate under the assumption that I care more about everyone else than they do about me.”

“I unfollow people on Instagram if their life seems too perfect because it makes me feel inadequate.

“I feel like a terrible mother pretty much all the time.”

“I hate emptying the dishwasher.”

“Every day, I’m afraid that my husband is going to wake up and finally realize how much crazy he married.”

“I thank God for every day that he doesn’t.”

“I don’t like to try new foods… so I travel with my own jar of peanut butter.”

“I want to write a book so badly that it hurts.  But I’m afraid of people telling me that my life was never worth telling.”

“I struggle, every single day, with feeling like I’m enough.  Skinny enough. Funny enough.”

“And I cry.  A lot.”

…..”Because life requires guts….it requires bravery…and it requires vulnerability.”

Such a beautiful read this beautiful Sunday!  And yes, this is me in this picture.  Photo cred: Cayden.  (my 11 year old.)

Have a great week!

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