Wow! Guys, listen up! Tuesday. Office. Politics.

…You can be really proud of me.  I am doing big things.  I am doing some of the right things.  I am trying to be the bigger person here.  Always.  In all areas of my life.  I am really working on myself here, and some things and relationships in my life right now, people.  Sure, I guess instead of just doing big things, I could be moving big things.  I should be picking them up and then putting them back down again.  (hehe)  

And no, this post is not about my office or the politics in my office.  Because there are politics in my office.  But I got your attention didn’t I?

Rather, this is about me remembering to stay humble.  And, reminding myself not to boast.  I mean, not that I would want to boast or anything.  [even I can be a little sarcastic.]  I just mean that, at least I know I am growing, even if no one other person does.  I know how hard I have to byte my tongue, too.  It’s hard not to let the things that really do bother you, bother you.  It’s really hard not to let these things cause you to react.  If you are really trying to change something about yourself, it is really reaally hard to be conscious of your ways!

Actually, this post is about a lot of different things.

So this is what it feels like to be 33.

So this is what it feels like to be 33?

Anyway.  I am kinda proud of myself right now is all.  I love my family.  And I love God.  So much so.  And I love my son and it is just so gorgeous outside.  ANd I love my dog.  I love all of my whole family.  [me, cheesin’.]

Right now I am learning how to accept myself.  It’s true.  My whole life I have been so defensive.  Quick to anger.  I am the most oppositional person I have ever met.  I have a hard time laughing at myself.  And you know what, I guess I don’t always take criticism constructively.  I’d be the best obsessive compulsive person ever, and the bigger perfectionist.

Gosh, I could say a whole lot right now about all of that.  And it wouldn’t be crap, it’d be true!  Still, it’d be a bunch of excuses.  There.  Until you put it out there like that.  I’m just saying.

What I am saying is this.  I don’t have to laugh at myself, but I don’t have to defend my actions either.  Good or bad.  Okay, okay, sometimes I might have to defend some of the bad ones.

I am done worrying so much about what people think of me.  I am done explaining myself before I am even asked.  It’s often more than not, never even warranted.  I’m done saying sorry just to say sorry.  I say sorry all of the time, just not any more.  (It’s one thing when you really have something to say sorry for.  I say sorry because I accidentally made eye contact with you.  More sarcasm, and I’m actually not even really sarcastic.  Not normally.  Though, there are stranger things.]  Always I have always over used the expression.  How come I just had this epiphany?  About everything?!  Omg!

Anyway, I am just starting to really start to love my 30’s.  And my own company.  Regardless of my relationship status.  It’s always complicated.

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